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Writer's pictureRachel Jones

The Power of Gratitude: Take the Challenge, See the Change

Welcome to the 5th year of our Gratitude Challenge. If you are new here, we have done some form of a 21 day gratitude challenge for the last five years. Each year we have a guided social media and youtube video to go along with it so you can take it a day at a time. We also share all the days here if you prefer to make your own plan.


Here we go!


  1. Both you and your partner are going to take time today to map out a date and plan it to happen within the next 21 days. Both of you are planning a date and scheduling it. These can be at home or out of the house.

  2. Map out your relationship story with your partner. Each of you takes turns sharing your version of the story and listening to one another. Identify 3 things you are grateful for in your relationship story.

  3. Reflect back on the last 11 months together and highlight some of your favorite moments together.

  4. Send one appreciation to your partner every two hours throughout the day.

  5. Write up 5 Post-it notes focused on things that you admire about your partner and post them around the house.

  6. Write a letter of encouragement to your partner that they can read now or in the future.

  7. When your partner returns home, give them a long kiss and hug. Let them know you are happy to see them.

  8. Set a time for 2 minutes and express all the reasons you love your spouse. Take turns!

  9. Read your vows to one another or if you are not married, write out your own form of vows of why you are committed to your partner right now.

  10. Spend a few minutes together today expressing the things your partner has taught you and why you appreciate learning those.

  11. Send your partner a sexy text message or give them a call and tell them why you think they are sexy.

  12. You and your partner pick 1 thing you each are willing to invest in to help build your relationship stronger.

  13. As you go throughout the day, every time you pass your partner physically touch them in some way-a kiss, a hug, a shoulder rub, etc.

  14. Spend time cuddling for a few minutes together and intentionally reflect on how it feels to be held by your partner.

  15. Make a “dreams to accomplish” list together. Aka a bucket list.

  16. Cook a meal together and be teammates encouraging one another on, identifying which strengths you each have, and then sit down and enjoy the meal together.

  17. Turn on some music and dance together-slow dance, head bang, or line dance. Whatever your preference is.

  18. Write a song, a poem, or a toast for your partner and read it to them.

  19. Ask your partner how you can support them today and then do that!

  20. Set up an intimate night together. Remember, intimacy is physical, mental, and emotional. So it doesn’t just have to be sex, it can incorporate any kind of intimacy.

  21. Map out 21 appreciations, admirations, and affirmations you have for your partner and share it with them. 


If you prefer to follow along with the daily challenge, head on over to Connected Couples Counseling on Instagram or YouTube to join the daily thread.


We hope you join us!



Surprise Couple
Gratitude Challenge

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