When love fades, it can leave a lasting emotional impact—not just on the couple, but on the therapist who has been guiding them through their relationship journey. In this video, I share a personal and professional perspective on what it feels like when couples choose to divorce or break up. As a therapist, I witness the highs and lows of relationships, and while my goal is always to help couples grow together, sometimes separation is the healthiest path. Join me as I explore the emotional complexity of being a therapist during such challenging moments, how it affects me, and how I navigate supporting clients through their breakup or divorce. Whether you're going through a separation or curious about the therapy process, this video offers an inside look into the human side of a therapist's role.
In case you cannot listen to the whole video, here's a summary of what I share.
When a couple decides to end their relationship, the first experience I feel is the sadness and grief of this choice. I know it is a heavy decision to make and it takes a lot of effort to choose this path. I am sad to know this is what feels like the best or the safest path for them and I hold the emotions they experience with that. Our mission and vision for our practice is to change the divorce statistic. We are invested in couples growth and evolution and we recognize that is not attainable for all the couples we work with. While we desire this and hold hope for it, we do find sadness when they find they cannot continue their relationship.
Someone asked if I feel Disappointed that the couple made this decision and I do not. I have hope for the couple as we work together and I believe that they are doing the best with what they have in the work. I feel grateful they took a chance to work on the relationship.
Another question I received is wondering if I feel that I failed the couple as the therapist if they decide to end the relationship. The human part of me has this little wondering and I am mindful to not feed it too much. The reality is that there is always more to learn and understand about relationships and so I sometimes wonder if I just had more tools, more training, etc that I could have helped the couple better. While there can be some truth to this, the reality is that a couple making this decision is not because they didn't have one more tool or more education. It's more complex than that. So, no, I do not feel like I failed as a therapist, but I do take these experiences and explore how I can continue to grow and develop my skill set as a couples therapist.
Finally, some people wonder if we continue to work with couples after they make this decision. And the answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no. We encourage couples to consciously uncouple when they can--to focus on healing and repair individually and relationally so that they can end their relationship well. Some couples can engage in this work and others are not. We always explore what is best and most needed for the couple and are adaptive to what that is for both partners.
What questions do you have about this? We'd love to hear your curiosities!
Are you looking for a couples therapist to help support your relationship needs? Reach out to our team for a free 20-minute consultation to learn more about the work we do. Email admin@connectedcouplescounseling.com today.
Bình luận