Building A Relationship for A Lifetime

Our mission at Connected Couples Counseling is to help couples grow old together with a committed and deeply connected relationship. We want couples to enjoy every stage of life together and feel their love strengthen and not weaken over time. For this to happen, couples must approach their relationship with intentionality and consistency in working together repeatedly. It’s common in our work that we see couples place their relationship at the bottom of their priority list, and we want to help couples put it at the top. We truly believe that when your relationship is what you work the hardest at, you will see the ripple effect it has in all areas of your life: parenting, career, and health. 

So what does it take to build a relationship for a lifetime that is strong and connected?

First, think about how your relationship began. When you first met your partner and started dating, there was a lot of intentionality and effort put into building your relationship. You planned opportunities to go on dates, you thought through questions to ask one another and identified what you wanted to learn about them, and you carved out time to spend together. A simple step can be thinking through each of these and seeing if you are still doing that today:

1. Am I asking my partner to go on dates with me and planning dates to have with them?

2. Am I being curious about my partner—asking them about their day, what they need, and who they are today?

3. Do I prioritize quality time with my partner? (This is more than just sitting together on the couch on your phones together watching something)

How we began our relationship needs to continue and then some more. 

A second area we often see lacking in relationships is the act of trying new things together. When your relationship started, everything felt new together. Having pizza for the first time, going on a walk holding hands, meeting each other’s families, etc. Some of these things won’t feel new again, but it is important to continue to try new things or recreate new experiences together. Trying something new together does not have to become something you do multiple times. It could be as simple as trying axe-throwing and enjoying it one time and not wanting to do it again. It could also grow into new activities and hobbies to share.

• What is an activity you’ve wanted to try with your partner?

• What’s something you think you and your partner may enjoy doing together?

• Have you made a relationship bucket list? What hasn’t been done on it? 

• Try out our free “Try Something New” freebie together.

Third, we believe you and your partner need to be intentionally working on strengthening areas of your relationship that may appear weak or underdeveloped. What we mean here is identifying the areas that will build your connection. Some of these areas could be:

• Communication—improving your communication skills on topics that feel tricky together, such as finances, parenting, intimacy, etc.

• Conflict—learning new ways to navigate conflict and how to become a team through it.

• Intimacy—exploring what you want to improve in your intimate connection together.

• Financial planning—building your financial security and plan together.

• Parenting—becoming the parents you both want to be, and how to step into these versions of you.

While couples counseling is one way of helping improve these areas, we also believe there needs to be action outside of therapy, too. It could be reading a book together on the focused topic, listening to a podcast together, watching a YouTube video on the topic (be selective of who you are learning from), or even receiving mentorship from a couple you look up to. 

Focusing on each of these areas helps you actively build a relationship for a lifetime. We encourage you to sit down with your partner and to work through each of these areas together. Create an intentional plan of how you will build your relationship, what action steps will be needed, and how you will hold each other accountable. If you want help doing this, take a listen to our vlog on this topic below to hear how to apply this to your relationship today!

Building A Relationship for A Lifetime

Need personalized help? Contact us today, and we will help you schedule a free 20-minute consultation with one of our team members to help you build your relationship stronger.