I had an experience the other week where I learned how incredibly powerful the words I speak to myself are.
I have spent the majority of my life knowing I can sing, but never feeling super confident about it. I knew I could sing from others saying I had a good voice though I didn't believe my singer ability was as strong as others. I would joke that I took the instrument route instead of the choir route and that's why I don't know what I'm doing. Or that I am a good backup singer or two-shots at Karaoke singer.
I was scheduled to be one of the singers on the worship team at church and unfortunately, the lead singer and other participants were sick so I ended up having to lead. I was nervous and anxious, but wanted to do what I could to support the team. The joke of being a good backup singer was in my head, but I was the only one singing on the stage. It ended up going a lot better than I would have imagined. I was able to be bold and sing strongly even if I had some voice cracks and some shakiness to my voice.
It got me thinking about how the words I speak about myself or even my marriage have so much power. What I say out loud is often what I believe and sometimes what I say out loud is not kind, it's not compassionate, and it's not always the truth. I have the power to speak more goodness, more kindness, and more compassion towards myself, others and my relationship with my husband.
How I feel in the moment does not mean I will feel that way forever. So when I had the thought that maybe I would be happier married to someone else when my husband and I were going through a challenging period together, I could have leaned into that feeling and believed it. Luckily, I didn't and the feelings, thoughts, and words I was saying were so scary that I took action to find support through the challenging time we were in.
Our feelings can become words of belief and experience. It is our work to explore them, be curious about them, seek to understand them, and identify what is needed. Your words hold power-be wise, be careful, and be curious.