I am an avid podcast listenered. I love personal development podcasts, therapy podcasts, and, of course, The Office Ladies' podcast. It's no surprise to me that I am often drawn to podcasts that talk about relationships which is what I found myself listening to as I cleaned my bathrooms the other day. I was struck by one of the questions the podcast asked:
"What do you want the culture of your home to look like?"
The speaker was talking about a couple who had found themselves in the midst of a conflict. One partner had raised their voice and the other partner said they were going to step away for a break because this was not the culture they wanted to create in their home.
In my work, I often ask couples what is their ideal relationship, their dream relationship, or the goals they are working for in their relationship. I think I may start to shift this question to the one above. A culture is intentionally created, unique in its own way, and a description of a dynamic amongst people. I love how exploring this question can help couples focus on the long-term desire and relationship they are creating.
Focusing on my relationship desires and goals are important, but focusing on the culture of my relationship and home is equally as important. The dynamics, patterns, and behaviors I am creating with my partner will be the starting point for my family. I will be the first example of a relationship they witness and this will form their patterns. Yes, they will have the opportunity to create their own culture, but I would love to give them a strong foundation to begin with.
As you think about your own relationship, what is the culture you are creating with your partner? What is the culture you want to create together? What parts of your own family culture do you want to continue or leave behind? Get curious and start talking about this with your partner.
If you do not like the culture you are creating and want to shift it, let's have a talk. Breaking current patterns can be challenging, but it is possible. Sometimes we just need the help making it happen. Send me an email today and let me know how I can help you!