I grew up hearing that I was too sensitive, that I cried too much, that I was always the first one to get upset. It was so confusing to hear this over and over again because I often felt like I couldn’t control when the tears came out of my eyes.
I’m a feeler; an empath to some. I’m that person who can instantly feel the pain you are feeling. I can identify with the tears coming out of your eyes and shed some of my own to show you I connect with what you are sharing. I show you I’m with you by getting angry with you or by feeling overly joyous as you celebrate your accomplishment. I am an expressive type.
For a lot of people that is an uncomfortable feeling to have someone feel what they are feeling. For others it’s welcomed and it helps the individual feel less alone in this world. Whether its comfortable or uncomfortable, it is so important for the feelers and sensitive beings in this world to have space to express and be sensitive.
If you know someone like this, here are ways to have a relationship with this type of person.
Communicating with the feeler in your life:
If you have an individual in your life who is a feeler, communicate how their connection to your feelings impacts you. This is so hard to do without coming off as shaming the individual for their feelings. Utilizing the phrase “I feel x when you do y” can help this conversation.
“I feel uncomfortable when you share my emotional state with me. I want you to listen and provide me with advice rather than shedding tears with me.”
“I feel comfortable when you cry with me. It makes me feel like you understand.”
It is important for you to understand why you are comfortable or uncomfortable with a sensitive individual. Maybe it’s because you grew up in a family where emotion was shamed or not allowed. Maybe it’s because you had a relationship with someone who always cried and it made you question whether they were sincere. Have an open dialogue on how the feeler impacts you and be willing to have a difficult conversation.
Feeling with the feeler in your life:
Just because this individual cries, stresses or gets angry easily does not mean you have to as well. It is important to give space for the feeler in your life to express the emotions they may be feeling and also honor how you are feeling in the situation. You may not always be on the same page with how you feel about a situation. As long as you both are allowed to feel what you feel and have equal space to express and discuss it, you can move towards more understanding of each other.
Accepting the feeler in your life:
Accepting someone who is sensitive can be the hardest part. Because you accept this individual, does not mean you have to always understand where they are coming from or believe their reaction is right. What you do need to do is give the feeler space to express themselves, remove any desire to shame or ways that may shame the individual for the way they feel, and be non-judgmental about their sensitivity.