Every year my therapist asks me to pick a word of the year and this year I took it a step farther and created a phrase for myself.
Main Character Energy
I knew my therapist would ask me why I chose it so I did my therapy homework and came prepared for my session. Here's what I wrote:
awakened, victorious, resilient
more bold, confident, direct
not anxious and fearful
more open and engaging
willing to take up space
embracing discomfort and growth
wields power courageously, humbly, and for the goodness of self and others (empowered)
boundaries around health and wellness for self and others
reduce overthinking and analyzing, accept and lean into the growth and change even when painful or challenging
I added some more since my initial reflection:
no letting others' opinions stop me from my own
trusting my instinct and a general sense of typically being right
not fitting into others' boxes
I was also inspired by the lyrics from Taylor Swift's Marjorie and yes I am a Swiftie!
Never be so kind, you forget to be clever Never be so clever, you forget to be kind Never be so polite, you forget your power Never wield such power, you forget to be polite
I have dealt with anxiety for a long time and my anxiety often gets in the way of me fully being myself. I get in my head, overthink, and analyze to the point of my detriment. In therapy, I have been working on making more empowered choices to help reduce my anxiety. And I am upping my game this year by stepping into the main character energy.
In addition to being a Swiftie, I'm a big romance book reader. I love watching how the main characters evolve, fall in love, and work through the challenges and hoops that pop up. I am planning on spending my year attempting to enjoy the development process of my own life story. To embrace the challenges, lean into the growth, and remember that I can be present through all of it.
This focus will hopefully impact my marriage too. My husband does not deal with anxiety and it can be hard for him to understand my own experience of it. I sometimes hide behind his main character energy and let him take up all the space which can negatively impact my feelings towards him even though it's my choice. Choosing to take up space equally will hopefully positively impact both of us and our feelings towards one another.
I share my journey to normalize the constant work in progress we all are and to remind you that your couples therapist is also human. I challenge you to create a word or phrase of the year for yourself or your marriage. Then take the action to honor it!