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My therapist said I should leave my spouse. What should I do?

Writer's picture: Rachel JonesRachel Jones

What to do when your therapist says you should leave your spouse--a therapist's input.


It is 100% your decision whether you stay in a relationship or not; not your therapist's. If your therapist has said they think you should leave your partner, that is not their role.


You have the right to bring this to your therapist and help them learn how they can best support your therapy work with them. You can put boundaries in your therapy work with your therapist. You can also decide whether you continue with your therapist or not when this happens in your work.


Remember that therapists are humans too-sometimes we don't recognize overstepping a boundary, our judgment/opinion can show up without us meaning to or catching ourselves doing it, and we are growing in the work daily. We do make mistakes and we are here to repair when that happens if you allow us to step into that with you.


Sometimes couples are worried that therapy is about a therapist deciding whether you are compatible, whether you should be together, or if you can last. The role of the therapist to help you explore what your relationship vision is, what creating shared meaning looks like for each of you, and to explore what you need and value in partnership.


Our role is not to convince you what the best decision is; our role is to help you figure that out for yourself and respect your decision.








In this video, we are focusing on relationships where there is not abuse and/or power and control dynamics. If you are experiencing power and control and/or abuse in your relationship, we encourage you to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233

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